In 2002 Michelle and Michael were living in the San Francisco Bay Area with relatives while Michelle pursued her dream of following in her mother’s footsteps and becoming a nurse. She was six months away from achieving that goal when she disappeared from a Kaiser Hospital in Hayward, CA last May. The extended family began commuting from San Diego to help Michael search for his sister.
It was during one of these commutes up Interstate 5, which runs from North to South through California’s central valley, that I received the call from one of Michael’s uncles. As we had so many times before, Violet and I watched Michelle’s drama play out on the evening news. She kept encouraging me to help the family, but I deferred, reminding her that the family needed to call us, not the other way around. I believe that my wife was driven by similarity. She too, is a first generation Asian American whose family of nine traveled half ways across the world to settle in the land of golden hills and Campaign dreams.
Our first meeting occurred in a dingy motel room in Hayward. My first piece of advice to the family was to get a new room. Having stayed in hundreds of hotel and motel rooms I understand the importance of maintaining standards of comfort that did not exist at this location. Ultimately, I believe that we reflect our environment which is why it is better to surround ourselves with beauty rather than squalor.
I accompanied the family to the Hayward Police Department where Sonny, surrounded by family, stepped in front of waiting television cameras and read a statement rejecting law enforcement’s theory that Michelle was a homicide victim. He declared that the family still believed that she was alive and that they would search for her until she was found alive. Off camera Sonny looked me in the eye, and promised to move heaven and earth to find his daughter. Two weeks later he traveled to Vietnam for an extended visit.
Eventually a core group of volunteers gravitated toward Michael and went with him on ground searches. He became more comfortable and began hanging out in the mapping room, sitting in on briefings and debriefing sessions. Very quiet and never displaying the wild range of emotions typical of family members, including myself, in dire straits, Mikey began to fit into his new role of brother-protector.
As days turned into weeks and then months the family assumed more and more search related responsibilities. KlaasKids is very good at creating a search and rescue effort. We can work with and provide direction families and their communities. We can create relationships with law enforcement and work with the media, but we do not have the resources to devote our full time all the time to a single search. Therefore, we are constantly teaching and instructing. We seek out people to assume critical search related roles and basically hope to Hell that they are up to the task. Michelle couldn’t have been in better hands. Family passion never wavered and their commitment never waned. Unfortunately, on September 17, they learned what we had believed from the beginning. It was during the last scheduled search that Michelle’s remains were discovered. The Hayward Police had been correct all along. She had been the victim of a twisted mind and a vengeful heart.
Throughout, Michael never lost his public composure. The deer in the headlight gaze deferred to focused contemplation. He had developed a passion for search and rescue as he found his voice and his direction. He determined that Michelle’s death would have meaning and announced that he was forming his own SAR team. He organized meetings and team trainings. He has overcome his shy nature as he developed a quiet forcefulness that commands respect.
When Sierra LaMar disappeared I received another call from a desperate family. Again, I explained that certain milestones would have to be achieved before we could launch a major search and rescue effort. Again, my words clashed with a sense of urgency that wants to recover their child, not achieve “certain milestones.” When I called Michael and asked him if he would work with Sierra’s family on preliminary roadside searches he didn’t hesitate for a moment. I could hear the excitement in his voice. He met with them, he consoled them, he took them into the fields to search for their daughter and he led them.