CHILD PERSONAL SAFETY: WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW

By Kenneth Wooden, Child Lures School Program

I became familiar with the alarming scope of crimes against children as an investigative reporter for the major networks in the 1970s and '80s. As a parent I was appalled, and that compelled me to launch a national prevention effort. I went directly to those who prey on children to learn how they disarm unsuspecting youngsters.

In interviews conducted at prisons across the country, I learned that in most cases of abuse and abduction, children are not physically overpowered or threatened with a weapon. Instead, they are deceived or caught off-guard by what I call "lures." My 20 years of research identified 16 different lures used individually or in various combinations, by predators both known and unknown to the child. My background as an educator inspired me to use this invaluable information to create the Child Lures School Program, which has been adopted by more than 1,000 school systems across the country.

When it comes to every parent's worst nightmare--the criminal abduction of a child--the FBI estimates that 200-300 cases occur across America each year. Roughly half are murdered. In over 50% of these cases, the initial contact site is within a mile of the victim's home; 74% are girls, and 50% are 12 or older.

What is not figured into these statistics are the untold number of children who are abducted, often for short periods of time, abused, and then let go. In fact, most crimes against children go unknown to the general public, many taking place in the homes of neighbors, friends, and co-workers--by people we would never suspect.

Communities are beginning to declare war on these criminals, mainly through the passage of notification laws (i.e., Megan's Law). While undoubtedly helpful, I fear these laws may give communities a false sense of security for a variety of reasons.

First, the responsibility of registering rests on the criminal himself. Not surprisingly, many offenders take their chances and don't bother to register. Furthermore, it is not uncommon for those who abuse children to have dozens of victims before being caught for the first time. Many others are arrested but never convicted. Some are convicted, but "plea down" to escape being placed on a list of registered offenders. Keep in mind that most crimes against children are never even reported. Most disturbing of all: A reported 20-30% of these crimes are now perpetrated by other children, many victims of abuse themselves.

Empowering Our Children
So, how do we best protect our children? The key is knowledge. Even very young children know that some things can be dangerous--moving cars, hot kitchen stoves, electrical outlets, swimming pools, and so forth. Just as we routinely instill in our children a healthy awareness of potentially dangerous things, so too can we teach them to avoid potentially dangerous people and situations.

Some well-meaning individuals feel it is unreasonable and even harmful to "make children responsible for their own safety." I find that line of thinking unrealistic, since we simply cannot be with our children every minute of every day. In fact, the growing-up process necessitates that we help our children become increasingly independent and teach them how to make decisions for themselves. That includes being able to size up people and situations.

Understandably, protecting kids from abuse and criminal abduction is a difficult topic for parents to face. Recently, a mother called me and confessed to being absolutely terrified by the idea of someone abusing her child or, even worse, kidnapping him. How could she broach the subject when she could barely even let herself think about such a violation of innocence?

I suggested she compare it to installing a smoke detector in her house or having a fire escape plan with her family. The thought of a fire is terrifying, but the chance of it actually happening is remote. However, being prepared for the possibility is essential--and helps put one's mind at ease. Above all else, keep things in perspective: Most people are kind, safe, and dedicated to the well-being of children. Statistically speaking, most youngsters will pass through the garden of childhood untouched by abuse.

Children are eager to learn personal safety strategies, for they cater to basic survival instincts. Keep in mind that most youngsters today are well aware that crimes can and do happen to children. You might be surprised how well informed your kids already are from watching the news, reading the paper or just talking to classmates. I've personally taught Child Lures Prevention strategies to over 250,000 children who assure me that they felt empowered rather than scared.

Child Lures Prevention Strategies
Some basic personal safety strategies follow, excerpted from the Child Lures School Program's Parent Guide:

• Avoid scare tactics. Explain that most adults would never do anything to harm a child; those who do are the exception.
• Teach children basic sex education, i.e, the areas of the body covered by a bathing suit are private.
• Establish that inappropriate touches are against the law. This gives children confidence to assert themselves with those who try to abuse them.
• Allow children to express affection on their own terms. Do not prod them to "Give Uncle Jimmy a kiss" or "Give Aunt Susan a hug."
• Develop strong communication skills with your children. Explain the importance of reporting attempted or actual abuse to you or another trusted adult. Stress that there should be no secrets from you, especially those involving grown-ups.
• Volunteer to chaperone extracurricular activities, especially those involving overnight trips.
• Do not rely entirely on "The Buddy System." While it may make children (and parents) feel safer, its effectiveness is questionable. In many documented cases, sisters, brothers and playmates have been victims of terrible crimes when together.
• Teach children that, should they become lost or separated from you, it's generally a good rule to seek out a woman for assistance (preferably a mom or someone working behind a counter at a place of business).
• Make sure that even very young children know their full name, complete address and phone number (including area code). Practice dialing a 911 operator with them.
• Youngsters should never get in a car or go with someone without your direct permission. Children should be extra cautious if they are promised a gift or money or asked to help look for a lost puppy or other pet. They should refuse, get to safety, and report the incident immediately.
• Above all, encourage children to recognize, trust and follow their instincts--and listen to your own instincts. If a situation or person makes you or your child uneasy believe in your feelings and act on them.

  Taking Charge of the Problem
  Child exploitation has mushroomed into a social epidemic that robs far too many youngsters of their full human potential. All too often, it contributes to learning disabilities, school drop out, teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, suicide, and even violent crime. The recent surge in violent behavior among young people, both in and out of school, highlights the need to address these problems at their root.

  When I was growing up in the 1940s and '50s, polio was the disease most feared by children and parents alike. Thanks to Dr. Jonas Salk and his vaccine, polio is now preventable. Think of child lures prevention as a vaccine as well. Teaching these prevention measures to kids should be as routine as taking them for their scheduled immunization shots.

  Preventing crimes against children is so basic to their well being and educational success that it must be incorporated into every school's permanent health curriculum. Parents, schools, and Child Lures Prevention: Together we can make child exploitation as uncommon tomorrow as polio is today!

  Contact Us!
  For more information on the Child Lures Community Plan, visit www.childlures.org or write to:

  Child Lures Prevention
  5166 Shelburne Road
  Shelburne, Vermont 05482

  Ken Wooden is a leading child safety expert whose work on behalf of children spans three decades. A published author with a background in education, Wooden is creator of the Child Lures School Program and its supplement, the Child Lures Parent Guide. Both are used by over 1,000 school systems nationwide.

  Thank You To Our Donors. Winter 1999, Vol.5, No.3